SECRETS

I have a secret to confess.   My children are addicts.   Yes you heard me right addicts and their drug of choice breast milk…so I guess that makes me their supplier.  Just so you don’t get totally creeped out I need to clarify that only Brennan is currently being breastfeed , but at some point in their little lives Hailey and Cody also had a daily habit that was impossible to break.   I breastfeed Cody until he was 13 months, Hailey until she was 18 months.  She was impossible to wean, Finally at 18 months Steve and I took a vacation to Vegas and my parents suffered through the detox .   I owe them big time but also have to admit I have  visions of going to Vegas sometime in the near future.  I figure they are pros, so they could handle one more detox.   It is funny,  I never planned on breastfeeding , the ideas seemed weird to me but  Steve was the one who convinced me just to try it.   The rest is history, I guess you could say, I practice attachment style parenting, Meaning I have a kid constantly attached to my breast.   Joking aside, I  have created some major problems for myself.   While I love the benefits of breastfeeding for my children and myself, it has also created some really bad habits.   The biggest being my kids really need me, to the point it makes it hard to leave them at nighttime.  I am not so much worried about them but about the poor person stuck taking care of them.  Steve and I don’t fight , however any fight we have is after he has to deal with the kids while I am working 2ndshift.  Just last night I stopped home from work at bedtime because I could not get home at dinner time.  Well big mistake, Hailey got so upset as I was leaving she vomited.  Yes vomited.  The sad part is this is not a isolated incident.  Cody did it from ages 1-4, when I was not home at bedtime.   Hailey same thing and I  am hoping Brennan does not pick up this habit.  They get so upset when I am not home, they make themselves sick.   Hailey has been good lately so I thought I was “safe” stopping home  close to bedtime, but apparently not.  Till this day which most of you know Hailey still plays with my bra strap which she refers to as “strappy”  she uses strappy like her blanket , she likes to hold on to it while she falls asleep.  Yes this is my life one stuck to the breast another hanging on my bra strap.  I need a intervention.    The problem I have is breastfeeding is easy.  It is easy to get Brennan down for a nap or bed.  It makes it easy when he wakes up at night to feed him.  Yes he is a year old and No he does not sleep through the night.  In fact he gets up about 3 times a night.  I must admit I do enjoy the cuddling and nurturing feeling which comes with breastfeeding,  However I would like to go out with my husband later than 9pm.  What I struggle  with is that It is hard to take something away from Brennan that he wants so bad.  It would be easy if it was something that was bad for him or get hurt him but that is not the case with breastfeeding.  In fact it is the complete opposite ,the world health organization says it is best to breast feeding your child till 2 years old.  I know I can hear the sigh and see the eye rolls.  It is funny because I have noticed the reaction of people on the breastfeeding topic.  If you don’t breastfeed people look down on you, but if you breastfeed past 12 months people start looking at you weird.  I wish I was one of the lucky ones whose child weans himself or their supply dries up.  I know others wish they could breastfeed as long as I have. It’s funny how the grass is always greener on the other side.    So I decided it is time to put a end to a period in my life and start weaning Brennan, I have not told him yet.  Part of me is ready to be done, maybe actually by a new bra, that is not tan in color.  But part of me is sad I will never breastfeed a baby again.  So anyone have any tips on how to wean , I would be happy to hear them.  Mel’s all night Café is on its final month open. Maybe next week I will blog on my other dirty secret……Co-sleeping.  Feel free to share any of you secrets of parenting.  Misery loves company